Desperate Scousewives

Due to the inclement weather, my body and my couch have merged. In order to prevent death by extreme boredom and because I can’t physically move away from my television, I have started watching really awful British reality tv shows like Desperate Scousewives. Scousewives is like Jersey Shore but set in Liverpool, England! Such fun! What could go wrong? Actually, quite a bit. The show is awful and the people are just completely unlikable but that is ok because I don’t understand a thing anyone says. They speak “Scouse,” which is the regional accident that is usually incomprehensible. I lived in Brum for six months and I can’t understand it.

Everything is shiny. I’m a raccoon and I really like how the scouse cinamatography makes what I imagine is a really depressing place look all glowy and blingy. It is like the director of photography got drunk and did this show to pay off gambling debts.

“Do you wanna look like a wall or do you wanna look like a scouser?”

I’ll take a wall, thanks.

When it rains do you melt? Most of the women, and a few of the men are covered in so much make I imagine that anytime it rains they all look like the end of an Indian Jones movie.

None of them have any money.

They are sadly all quite poor. I have read newspaper articles that stated the cast made around 20lbs a day and have faced threats and physical violence due to their appearance on the show. That is awful, more awful than the show or even this blog post.




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